Friday, June 26, 2009

Want to Join My Cult?

How geeky and sixth-grade USY nightmare does that sound?

Okay, so Facebook is collecting your private data. And it's going to use it to sell your contact information to marketers. Who didn't know that already, or at least suspect it? When any automated website asks you for your five favorite bands, it doesn't want to know in order to agonize about how cool Regina Spektor is with you. It wants to sell you other music that sounds like Regina Spektor.

vampire freaksI was just convinced by my friend, music recommender, and sometime Internet guru Joshua Gee to join VampireFreaks.com. It's a social networking site for goths -- yes, I fly that way sometimes, and I've got my own set of fangs to prove it -- and, over the past two years, it's been proven to be wildly popular. The advantage that Facebook has (that is, it includes everyone in the universe is also a disadvantage, and we can already see the results of it: Every time someone from one of my former lives has friended me -- or, worse, sent me a long and detailed personal message -- and it's been a person that, if it's all the same, I'd rather keep in my former life, I stay away from Facebook for a few days.

If, on the other hand, I join a website that fits with my individual identity or my musical tastes or my personal convictions (vegetarian networks, for instance), I can limit myself to associating only with people who I'm actually interested in and care what they have to say...and I'll feel like my ad money is going to people I support (in this case, goth geeks) instead of Mark Zuckerberg, who I just feel kind of gross about at this point.

In addition to VampireFreaks, there are social networks for Christians, vegetarians, and even pets. So why haven't Jewish social networks ever taken off?

A rudimentary Googling shows there's no shortage of Jewish social networks. So why isn't anyone signed up on any of them? Instead of those (shiver) USY reunions being held on Shmooze.com or JewCrew.org, there are Facebook groups for the upcoming tenth reunion of National Convention '02 with literally hundreds of members -- and you know that all those ex-teens getting together is just going to inspire another round of old photo albums, bomber shots, and messy hook-up sessions, followed by another ten years of practiced Facebook avoidance.

Is that the real reason that Jews don't join Jewish social networks -- because they're so small, you might actually have to run into someone?

For my own part, I'll save my Jewish networking for the same user-platform my parents are on -- the local synagogue -- and use social networking for the things that I really need computers for, like writing protest letters to congressmen and finding new music. In the meantime, if anyone comes looking, I'll be on Vampire Freaks. Want to join my cult?

7 comments:

Marie said...

I can't believe you are on Vampire Freaks!
You are the most tanned person on there I bet!
And you aren't even tan!

matthue said...

Wait, are you on there too?? I feel like the biggest loser in school. I don't have any friends yet! I need to make a friend.

RUSSIAN HOUSEWIVES said...

vampire freaks used to be on an approved-by-jet[the owner]-only basis. you submitted your photos&were accepted or rejected accordingly. lmao. back in like the early 2000's. now it's gone free!
are you enjoying it?

matthue said...

i am! well, it lasted about 5 minutes. but i'd already gotten invited to 2 cults and had a virtual tampon thrown at me. soo much better than whatever websites they had going when i was 15.

Jessica Morgan said...

Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books. Sure, I understand. You are young; you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, but how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the vampires creed today via email, vampirescreedtemple@gmail.com

update said...

Easy way to join the vampire in the world.

Are you a business man or an artist,Politicians and you want to become big, Powerful and famous in the world, join us to become one of our official member today.you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the vampire and his representative after registrations is completed by you, no sacrifice or human life needed, vampire brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate poverty away from your life now. it only a member who is been initiated into the church of vampire have the authority to bring any member to the church, so before you contact any body you must be link by who is already a member, Join us today and realize your dreams. we also help out our member in protection of drugs pushing email: thavampirecult@hotmail.com

Once you become a member you will be rich and famous for the rest of your life, vampire make there member happy so i will want you all to also be a member of the vampire if you are interested contact email on thavampirecult@hotmail.com

update said...

Easy way to join the vampire in the world.

Are you a business man or an artist,Politicians and you want to become big, Powerful and famous in the world, join us to become one of our official member today.you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the vampire and his representative after registrations is completed by you, no sacrifice or human life needed, vampire brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate poverty away from your life now. it only a member who is been initiated into the church of vampire have the authority to bring any member to the church, so before you contact any body you must be link by who is already a member, Join us today and realize your dreams. we also help out our member in protection of drugs pushing email: thavampirecult@hotmail.com

Once you become a member you will be rich and famous for the rest of your life, vampire make there member happy so i will want you all to also be a member of the vampire if you are interested contact email on thavampirecult@hotmail.com

Blog Archive